When your client has nothing to bring to the session

Imagine you're on a coaching call on a Wednesday afternoon.

Your client logs into Zoom. She's smiling. She says, "Honestly, though, I didn't really come with anything specific today."

You smile back and say something like that's totally fine, let's see what comes up. You ask her how she's been and what's on her mind for the week. She gives you a four-minute answer about her sister's upcoming wedding. You nod and ask a follow-up question. She gives you another answer.

The clock at the top of the Zoom window says 2:47.

You bill her two days later on Friday.

This has happened three Wednesdays in a row now. She joins the call, you both make polite conversation, you do your routine check-ins and you say bye, bye.

Stay with me, because the second half of this post has a small system you can use before the next session that genuinely fixes this.

This isn't a "she's not committed" problem

The easy version of this story is "she's not committed, she's wasting my time, she's the problem." I just want to gently say that this is not what's actually happening, or at least it's not the interesting part of what's happening.

The interesting part is this: the package you sold her in February was for a version of her that doesn't exist anymore.

In February, she had a wall of stuff to coach on. She was drowning and looking to fix so many things urgently. Every session ended with her saying a version of "I can't believe how much we just unpacked." That was real, and that was the version of her you priced for.

It's now July, and she's not drowning anymore. Her sister's wedding is coming up, her Tuesdays are normal, and she has a vague sense that something is supposed to be happening because she's still on a recurring monthly charge.

The package didn't get the memo though. The calendar invite didn't get the memo. She didn't really get the memo either, honestly. She's just showing up because that's the agreement you both signed.

Here's what's wild though. Neither of you wants to be the one to say it.

It's a contract problem, not a client problem

So you do the call. You ask good questions about her sister's wedding. You feel a little weird about it for the rest of the day.

That's the loop.

The loop is not a you problem. It's a contract problem, plain and simple.

When you sold her a six-month package, you made one decision in February that was supposed to hold across six different versions of her. That's a lot to ask of one decision, especially when coaching is working. Because if it's working, the version of her in month four genuinely should not need the same thing the version of her in month one needed.

The package got it right at the start. The package can't keep being right all on its own.

Here's what to actually do before next Wednesday

Now here's the part I actually want you to do something with, because I know how this goes. You'll read this, nod, think "yeah that's me," and then on Wednesday at 2pm you'll forget all of it and ask her about the wedding again.

So let me give you the move. Three things, in order. You can do all of this before next Wednesday.

One. Send her this exact message tonight.

Open WhatsApp or email or wherever you talk to her. Send this:

"Hey [name], quick thought before our next session. We've been working together for a few months now and I want to make sure I'm using our time on the thing that matters most for you right now, not the thing that mattered most when we started. Can you spend five minutes before Wednesday and send me one or two sentences on what you'd actually want to walk away from these last few sessions having figured out? No pressure to be polished, just whatever's true."

That's it. Send it tonight, before you overthink it.

What this does is it gives her permission to say the thing she's been sitting on. Most clients in this drift are also feeling weird about it and are quietly relieved to be asked. Some of them are going to send back something that surprises you.

Two. When you get on the call Wednesday, spend the first seven minutes on her answer.

Not the whole session. Just the first seven minutes. Read her message back to her. Ask her what's behind it. Then ask, "okay, given that, what's the thing we should actually be working on for the rest of our time together?"

Write her answer down. Out loud, while she watches. Repeat it back to her. Ask if you got it right.

That sentence becomes the new contract for the remaining sessions. You both signed it. It's now what the calls are about.

Three. Put a 30-minute calendar block on the last Friday of every month called "client check-in pass."

This is the part most coaches skip and it's why the drift keeps happening. You don't need to remember to re-contract. You need a structure that remembers for you.

In that 30-minute block, go through every long-engagement client and ask yourself one question: "Is the thing we're working on still the thing she actually needs?" If the answer is yes, move on. If the answer is no or you're not sure, you send her the message from step one before the next session.

That's the whole system. You don't have to feel out the drift anymore. The last Friday of the month does it for you.

The reframe to actually take with you

The reason I'm walking you through this in detail is because I see a lot of coaches treat the "she has nothing to coach on" session as a private failure. They think something is wrong with them, or with her, or with the work.

It's not that, though. It's that the structure of long engagements assumes the client stays static, and humans don't stay static, especially if the coaching is doing what it's supposed to do.

The drift isn't proof that something's broken. The drift is proof that something worked, and now the container needs to catch up to the person.

You don't need to remember to re-contract. You need a business structure that does the remembering for you.

If this is the session that's been on your mind too, the one with the client who used to be your favorite, who now shows up with nothing, try the message tonight and tell me what she says back.

I'm building Pineway partly because I'm tired of watching brilliant coaches white-knuckle relationships that just need a check-in, but that's a different post for a different day.

Okay, that's all for now.

Talk to you soon!

Debbie